Whack a Catgirl: The Zany Madca-Oh God, I can’t do this…

I mean, there are so many levels of nerdiness associated with this: The Japanese obsession with teenage girls, The American misunderstanding and glorification of everything Japanese, Furries, and let’s not forget that we’re still talking about a card game… heck, I’m writing a game REVIEW on the subject. My understanding of the Japanese language is limited, but I’m pretty sure that this is as ‘Otaku’ as it gets.*

catgirl_300

I'm so sorry Josh, I've ruined your website.

No, Whack a Catgirl is not a Japanese product. It isn’t even close… the artwork looks more like American cartooning than Japanese anime. But, I forgive Asmadi Games that foible… this is one of their first products and they are a very small game company from my hometown of Haverhill, Massachusetts. Considering how hideous some small press games turn out, I must give them praise. This at least looks like something that a bunch of talented kids at your high school put together. Oh, and the card stock is bendy but shuffles well. Always a fan of good card stock.

But the game itself with its hyper-cute, super-happy fan-servicing tentacle-crazy… breathe, John-Michael, breathe… Okay, I’ll be alright… Just let me sit down for a second.

Maybe I can just explain how the game works… that should be okay. The object of this game is to bludgeon Neko-chan repeatedly with items in your arsenal. At the start of the game, a mini-market is set up with a row of three cards that players can buy when they have no items, and a discount row of three cards that players can buy whenever. Players spend their turn either acquiring an item from the market, or attracting Neko-Chan over with cards they bought (Like Shinies!), then whacking her over the head with other cards they bought (Like Giant Mallets). Points are scored, rotate to the next player, la-de-da.

sample_yaoi

Considering how young that girl looks, I hope the two boys in this yaoi manga are just doing the dishes.

The game could disseminate into chaos from cards endlessly smashing the board, or a boring game of ‘Just take the best card stupid’. To the game designers credit, Whack-a-Catgirl has a proper risk vs. reward decision making mix. Scoring a fish is worthless unless you can score a bucket of water during the game. Yaoi Manga (I suggest you use Wikipedia, not Google to find out what Yaoi means. You’ll thank me later) attracts Neko-Chan… but if it’s in your inventory at the end of the game, you must score it, and it’s worth negative points. You can smash through the deck scoring whatever looks cool, or you can lay out an elaborate method of attack. Nice.

Also, Asmadi gets points for the extra effort put into their flavor text. The game has many duplicate cards that do the same thing for ease of gameplay’s sake. Those cards have the same artwork so that they can be easily identified… but each card has unique flavor text. That, ladies and gentlemen, is attention to detail.

No, really, I'm showing you this image so you can see that each card has different flavor text.  What exactly are you insinuating?

No, really, I'm showing you this image so you can see that each card has different flavor text. What exactly are you insinuating?

It’s just… I’m a thirty-three year old man and I’m afraid that my parents are going to storm in MY room someday, look at the artwork for this card game, and disown me. I mean, it’s not that bad; there’s only a couple of panty shots in the game, and one is on the card ‘Fan Service’ for Susanu’s sake. It’s just… well, this is one of those card games I’d prefer to give to another friend as a present so I could play it on occasion, but not actually own. Now who’s birthday is coming up…

* Josh, please don’t correct me on the meaning of Otaku. I know, I know, it means something different in Japan. Considering the subject matter, though, it seems ironically appropriate.

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13 Responses to “Whack a Catgirl: The Zany Madca-Oh God, I can’t do this…”
  1. Josh says:

    Man, you are going to make everyone think I am a total tyrant. My views on weeaboos notwithstanding, I am all about local games, especially if they are good. Still, you won’t see me playing this one EVAR. I will agree, having played We Didn’t Playtest This At All (another game I love to hate), Asmadi does do a great job with varied flavor text. This is the North Carolina GFG Office, signing off.

  2. Ashlee says:

    Jeesh! This game refers to Yaoi?? I’m going to have to start stocking it next to the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store! Speaking of… WHY do we have the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store!!

  3. David says:

    So I don’t understand…does this game make fun of Japanese culture, glorify Japanese culture, or make fun of dumb Americans who glorify Japanese culture?

  4. Junelle says:

    HAHAHAHAHA

    Man, I wish I could read the flavor text on those tentacle cards. All I can make out is “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Nooooooooooo!! No… x)” and “Did anybody my avacado?” I’m sure THAT isn’t right. Now that I read it again, it’s starting to look more like “Did anybody say mango?” … Help.

    You’d think this game isn’t so weeaboo because it’s called “Whack A Catgirl”… Sounds like it’s supposed to be aimed toward Otaku hatred. (Otaku means family or something in Japanese, by the way… desu~)

    I’d prefer this game to be named “BEAT THIS FURRY SENSELESS”.

  5. Junelle says:

    Josh :
    This is the North Carolina GFG Office, signing off.

    WE’RE GOING GLOBAL EASTCOASTAL

  6. John-Michael says:

    The three flavor texts on tentacles are:

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Nooooooooooo!! No… ❤
    Did somebody say scandal?
    -and-
    na naaaa na na-na na na na naaa na na Calamari Damashii-

    I think this last one is a reference to Katamari Damacy, the Playstation 2 video game where you roll the Japanese landscape into a giant ball. Thank you Urban Dictionary for the win.

  7. Junelle says:

    John-Michael :
    The three flavor texts on tentacles are:
    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Nooooooooooo!! No… ❤
    Did somebody say scandal?
    -and-
    na naaaa na na-na na na na naaa na na Calamari Damashii-
    I think this last one is a reference to Katamari Damacy, the Playstation 2 video game where you roll the Japanese landscape into a giant ball. Thank you Urban Dictionary for the win.

    DON’TA WOR-RY DO YOUR BEST~ nanana nanana nanana n-n-n-nanana

  8. not_jeff says:

    Ashlee :
    Jeesh! This game refers to Yaoi?? I’m going to have to start stocking it next to the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store! Speaking of… WHY do we have the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store!!

    Dude I read that book. You can cast the spell summon pubic lice! It has pictures!

  9. Ashlee says:

    not_jeff :

    Ashlee :
    Jeesh! This game refers to Yaoi?? I’m going to have to start stocking it next to the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store! Speaking of… WHY do we have the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store!!

    Dude I read that book. You can cast the spell summon pubic lice! It has pictures!

    Yeahhh… Junelle flipped through the entire thing while we were doing the reorganization last night. CRAAAZY stuff…

  10. not_jeff says:

    John-Michael :
    The three flavor texts on tentacles are:
    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Nooooooooooo!! No… ❤
    Did somebody say scandal?
    -and-
    na naaaa na na-na na na na naaa na na Calamari Damashii-
    I think this last one is a reference to Katamari Damacy, the Playstation 2 video game where you roll the Japanese landscape into a giant ball. Thank you Urban Dictionary for the win.

    which has nothing to do with tentacles.

  11. Josh says:

    There is otaku and then there is otaku. And they are different. Yes one can mean your home. The other one doesn’t.

    Also Calamari -> squid -> tentacles ?

  12. Junelle says:

    not_jeff :

    Ashlee :
    Jeesh! This game refers to Yaoi?? I’m going to have to start stocking it next to the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store! Speaking of… WHY do we have the “Book of Erotic Fantasy” at the store!!

    Dude I read that book. You can cast the spell summon pubic lice! It has pictures!

    I was reading all the flavor text because it was HILARIOUS, but then Ashlee took it from me and just flipped through to look at the PHOTOS. smegging pervert

    That pubic lice photo… Though it looked more like little ‘piders, at first glance I thought it was a huge nest of pubies.

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